An introduction to my wonderful crazy life

Sitting , watching tv last night, I heard the statement that best describes my life right now.  “Come on, if you don’t laugh, it just sounds mean.”  This, from Barney on one of my favorite sitcoms, How I Met Your Mother.   This is my new mantra. 

This blog was originally suggested by my sister who has been extraordinarily patient with me in listening to all of my stories on the phone.  When I repeated this blog idea to a couple of friends, they all suggested I go for it and one friend set up my blog site while I was still on the phone with her! Thanks Katie!  !

I have always been told I am good at telling stories.  My best friend from kindergarten still remembers some of them, which makes me laugh.  Back then, I admit, most of my stories were pure crap, but the things happening to me on a daily basis now, extend beyond the reach of even my vivid imagination.  Really, you can’t make some of this stuff up! Watching Cougar Town a few months back I began to think, my life is as funny if not more than this show.  I began making jokes about writing my experiences down and selling them for a show.  Because really, lately, with my life, if I don’t laugh, it just seems mean!

I have never been the one that just rolls along, doing what’s expected and “normal.”  Oh, believe me, I have tried.  It just never works out the way it should.  That being said, I have wonderful people in my life including my two boys that I wouldn’t, had I done it any other way.    I am sure to upset some people with this blog as well, and that is not my intent at all.  This is a tool for me, and hopefully entertainment for most, and like one friend says, “at the end of the day,” you don’t need to read it. 

I am 36 and have not been in school for a long time, so if you feel the need to correct my grammar, again, you don’t need to read on.  Stella, you are a teacher, so I know sometimes you cannot help yourself and I will give you a little leeway.   I will be using my spell check because I have learned in a very short time of dating online, that I am critical of people who don’t take the time to spell check an e-mail to a girl they are trying to get to go on a date with them.  Really, if you can’t take the time then, what does that say about you?

Now to my life as I understand it.  About a year ago, really further back, but I was in denial, my life changed drastically.  My husband of 15 years announced via e-mail that he wanted a divorce.  A couple days later, he came home and announced while moving his things that he had been leading a separate life for years, and couldn’t keep up the lies anymore.  To top it all off, this was all my fault. 

I will give you a condensed version of our history because most of you will already know this but since I know this blog is going to go absolutely viral, I need to explain to my many future fans!

I told you all I didn’t do things “by the book.”  I was always uncomfortable being the one to stand out and be “abnormal” so I started making jokes about trying to do things the way my manual said, but that my manual had a typo.   When all my friends went off to college, I did too but only for a year and then had to leave and work full time to save money to go back.  While at this job at 19 I met a guy, my future husband, that for the purposes of this blog and his privacy I will call Spot, like the dog I think he is.  He was wonderful to me, attentive, affectionate, and so giving.  He was also a decade older than me, and an inch shorter.  This did bother me, but being told this was shallow and looking back at my previous boyfriends, I decided that my past behavior wasn’t working so might as well go for something different.  In 4 short months we were engaged, a month after that we were celebrating in Hawaii and a month after that I found out I was pregnant.  So there I was, supposed to be going back to college having just turned 21, bumping up a wedding and full-on preggers.  Now my friends were graduating from college and getting jobs and I became a full time mom, and that’s what I remained for 15 years. 

Fast forward to March 2010.  Spot had just left and I was left wondering what the hell am I going to do now?  I realized that over all those years I had lost pieces of myself along the way and had no idea just how much of me was gone.  I also had a severely skewed sense of self and some real confidence issues.  The biggest of these being my “amazon” like stature.   I will post pictures at some point as proof but I am 5’6” and 122 lbs.  Hardly “amazon.”  It is amazing though what people will do to another person to make themselves feel better. 

As I started letting people know what was going on in my life I began to realize a lot of my friends and family had noticed how much I had changed over the years and they had seen things in my marriage I did not.  While I was embarrassed and felt stupid and like I had failed, they were so supportive and almost relieved I was going to get a new chance.  Then in April my sister came up for a visit with an early birthday present for me.  A pair of 4 inch, leopard print, peep-toe pumps.  OMG!  How would I wear these?  I hadn’t worn a pair of heels in 15 years!  I was going to tower over everyone.  Oh, but they were so pretty and I admit I felt pretty hot in them!  I wore them out with friends one night, feeling slightly large and like I stood out over the crowd.  I did not.  Anyway, it took off after that and I received many pairs of really “trashy” shoes for my birthday.  That was the start of my recovery and of the re-discovery of myself and it’s why this blog is titled what it is.  

P.S. At a friend's suggestion, names have been changed to protect the insane!