3.16.2011

Picking myself up, dusting myself off and getting back out there

Okay then, how does one begin dating nowadays? I think I am ready for this. I am open to meeting people, am still fairly young, I think. Can that much have changed in 15 years? UH, YEAH! Okay, online dating, Google searches, tax returns, physical forms, my high school and college transcripts, texting, and what the hell is up with “winking?”

The last time I had a first date, I was 19. That doesn’t really seem to compute as a big deal for anyone but me. I would tell people this and their reaction was, that’s not so bad. Well, here it is. I started telling people a couple of facts about the time difference and suddenly their eyes were bugging out of their heads. The last time I went on a date I was almost exactly one half my age. The last time I went on a date, no one I knew had a cell phone. Well, okay, my dad did have that cool bag phone, but I don’t count that, and no one had Internet, never mind e-mail. Crazy huh?



A couple of months after Spot left, I had been trying to get myself out of the house on the weekends I didn’t have my kids. I was reconnecting with old friends and having a good time hanging out. I was hopeful I would meet someone but it was still early for me and the thought of jumping into something terrified me. Well, no need to worry. Apparently, the only men interested in talking to me in a bar are on social security, have dentures and probably wear Depends. Really? Is this what is out there? And I have to say that when the five foot, ninety year old man approached me one night and just about “motor boated” me, not one of my “friends” stepped in to help. I am so glad you all got a good laugh. Again, not something I could make up. Needless to say, the bar scene isn’t really working for me.

So, just recently I decided to “advertise” myself online. This is standard operating procedure I guess for singles out there nowadays but a foreign concept to me. I don’t buy shoes online. I like to try them on. Now I get to “shop” for men over the Internet. It’s like Zappos or Amazon or something. Hmmmmm…. Could be fun. Let’s try it. To all my married friends, this is HARD! First of all, there is your profile. How to sound confident without being conceited, and let people know all of your good qualities without sounding full of yourself or desperate. That was the most difficult part for me. Next you have to pick pictures. Okay, girls. Try to find some good pics of yourself that you don’t pick apart because really, this is the first thing the guys are going to see. NOT what you have written or your personality.

Once you get your whole profile written and think it works, you can search for a good match. But buyers beware. The pictures are not always accurate. Some people post pics of themselves from 10 years ago, others I think post pictures of other people. I don’t know where these people get the nuggets.

Then one day I get a message that says I have been “winked.” Winked???? WTF is that! Seems a little shady, no? Winking in my opinion was a way for a guy with no courage to tell you he’s interested without really putting himself out there. Basically letting you do all the work and take the risk of rejection. I deleted all my first “winks.” Creeps! It was then that a male friend of mine explained the process to me. A guy apparently winks at a girl to basically ask permission to talk with her. If the girl is okay with this, she winks back and then the guy will send a message. Really? Feels like handing a football shaped note to my friend to give to the boy I like in study hall in high school. Can we really have come so far along technology wise just to be in the same spot we were when we needed Clearasil?
Anyway, I am not so freaked out by the winking anymore. I just haven’t had any lately. Figures.

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