Back in the game folks, here’s a recap of My “First” First Date
Someone “Upstairs” is sitting, eating popcorn, and laughing their ass off right now. If I make it to heaven, I am coming after you!
Okay, so it’s time to talk about my first date. I had met a guy on Match that made it all the way to the phone call stage (that’s a big step for me). I really enjoyed talking with him so we decided to meet for drinks. Just drinks, no dinner, remember? It was also a Thursday. He must have read the same book as my girlfriend who sat me down and gave me the all-important first date rules.
Anyway, I was really excited to meet him and had to work that day. The girls at work were so funny. I got drilled and received lots of opinions about my outfit, underwear, what to eat and drink, whether to kiss or not, and of course, my lipstick lecture. By the time I left work, I felt pretty sure I had it all down and was ready for anything.
Ha! They don’t know me. One thing this guy and I hadn’t talked about or shared with each other was our last names. I figured we would over drinks. It didn’t worry me too much. About 400 people knew where I was going to be and were ready to bail me out via text if he was a freak. He wasn’t.
He got to the bar early to ensure that we got a seat, but told me not to rush. He then sent me a text to ask what I would like to drink so he could have one waiting for me when I arrived. How sweet. When I walked in I have to say he looked exactly like his picture. Not bad. No OMG! or anything, but I wasn’t expecting that.
We fell easily into conversation and I was really enjoying myself, thinking my friends don’t know a fig about first dates and that all these rules are stupid. It must have been going well, because I had already eaten, but he said he hadn’t and that we had to order food. So, he wasn’t running away. Good sign.
We were discussing online dating and how crazy it can be and he mentioned how Google search had been helpful to him with this. I laughed and said, yes, it helps if you know the person’s last name. He laughed and told me his last name and then… I made the fatal mistake of telling him mine.
No lie. I tell this guy my last name… before I go on, for sake of privacy, I’ve changed my last name to Jameson. You know, I am starting to think every girl should have a really good alter-ego porn star name.
Anyway he looks at me and says, “Jameson”? I know a Jameson. He’s been my accountant for about 25 years. He does my father’s taxes, my mother’s, my sister’s, my business, my ex’s (you get the point). His name is Meathead. Is that one of your cousins?”
At this point, I believed that I heard all of that wrong. I must have, so I look at him and say “Meathead, from ……”
He says, ”Yeah.”
I am moving in slow motion now and put down my wine, turn to him and say, “nope, not a cousin, Jameson is my married name, Meathead is my ex brother-in-law.”
That folks, was my first date. What are the odds? I am trying to figure this out. How many men are on Match, and how did I find the one who knows my ex’s family, and well at that. Come on!!! Give me a break! They are from complete opposite sides of the state!
We did laugh and hang out for a while. He did quite a good Meathead impression and while he told me he was not going to fire his accountant, he did say he wanted to see me again. Big surprise, he hasn’t called.
Back to Match, and this time I am getting a last name and CORI check before I go on a date. Oh yes, and you know the thing about the seven degrees to Kevin Bacon? I am doing that too!
